Time for Healthy

One of the hardest thing to figure out after years of being abused is, what defines a healthy relationship. One of the things I have figured out is that I can now spot an unhealthy relationship and I have been able to avoid them. Finding a healthy one has proven to be more of a challenge. I know that I will never find someone that does not have issues, that is just impossible.

This is because everyone has issues, what does matter is how we choose to deal with them. Do we face them and work through them or do we run from them and take it out on the people in our lives. If someone is able to deal with their issues either by themselves or if they can ask for help, it is a good thing. It means that there is growth even when it is painful at times. Recently I celebrated 26 years of sobriety and recovery. It has been 26 years of dealing with my issues and learning to live with myself and love myself again.

A time of learning that abuse does not mean love and that I do not deserve to be abused by anyone. No one ever does deserve to be abused in any way shape or form. It is a challenge to go forward and look at the world and find the hope that a healthy relationship is out there for me. In the last few weeks I have finally opened myself up to the possibility of being able to have a happy, healthy and romantic relationship. For the first time in many years I am able to look at a wooman and not ask is she going to be the next one to abuse me.

That is growth and progress and I am excited about that becuase it means that I can look at having a real and healthy relationship without bringing any bagage with me. I am sure there will be moments when I will feel scared and that is ok and I am able to put it in God's hands and allow him to deal with it. Life is truly good and I feel truly blessed to have the life that I have. No matter what I have been through in the past, I am able to be a kind and compasionate person that genuenly cares about people and is willing to help all those in need. That was something that all those that abused me could never take from me and that is my victory.