True Friends

It is said that life is what we make it and I have found that to be very true. It is a reflection of the choices that we make no matter if those choices have been good or bad. Today my life is far better becuase the choice I am making are far better than I used to make. That is not to say that I do not wakeup with my head up my butt once in a while. I am by far much picker about the class of people that I allow into my life than I used to.

Today I only allow those in my life that respect me and their actions match what comes out of their mouth. I have no time for BS or drama in my life. I have all kinds of room for those that are caring and sensitive to their own needs and the needs of others. Today I choose to allow those individuals into my life that share my values and beliefs. They are true friends and they know who they are. They are people that I would and have stand and have stood by through good times and bad times. Not because I have to rather because I want to because they matter in the grand sccheme of things.

We are born into a family and let face we do not always like our families. We choose our frinds and we need to to choose wisely. The real friends are the ones that you never have to wonder if they will be there. They are also the ones that you do not take for granted. I am grateful for each and everyone of those that I choose to call friend. Life is good and getting better all the time and for me that is saying a lot. There are very few people that have stayed with me through all the rough times and can now enjoy the good times. They deserve to for they believed in me, even at times when I did not believe in myself. Thank you God for good friends and may their lives be blessed as much as they have blessed mine.

Life is Good

Better Days Ahead

Life is something that is very interesting to watch and getting involved in aint so bad either. When we leave ourselves open to the miracles that happen every day to those other peole that happen to us as well. Lord knows, forcing solutions never works and only cause more hurt and frustration than you can ever imagine possible. Yet to relax and find the rythm of the universe sets you free to join the flow of all that is good.

In that flow you find happiness and contentment along the way. I am not sure how to tell anyone how to get there. It is like telling someone how to 'let go and let God'. I could never figure out how to tell someone how to do that either. I just know that with enough prayer and meditation it just happens and than you find yourself in the flow and everything good you deserve comes to you. Life is truely a wonderful experience to be enjoyed and lived to the fullest.

Once the abuse stops and we have gained distance from the people that did the abusing we ahve to take the next step. That step was thwe hardest one of all for me, even harder than not getting into abusive relationships and that was to stop abusing myself. I have been told that in the absence of the abuser the abuse victim will abuse themselves. I think that is because I did not know any better and I associated abuse with love. It took time for that idea to change and a lot of hard work on my end. It was and is very much worth the effort to stop abusing myself and learn to love myself and see what happens. So far so good. Have a great day all and God Bless.

Happy Days

I longer I find myself outside of abusive relationships the happier I am. This is not just about not being abused it is also about the choices I am making and the positive things that are coming into my life. When I work on my relationship with my Higher Power and making it stronger my life get better. When I am working on my life and attracting positive things into my life through positive thoughts and actions, my life gets better.

It seems that every day get better and yet I know that the moment I allow another abusive person into my life it will all be gone. I have to keep the focus on my Higher Power and the positive life changes that are happening to me. These things are important and form the foundation for a better life for me and for the people that I care about. So many things have been going well and I feel so very blessed with each and every day. Life is because I choose to make it a good life. I have finally come to the realization that abuse is not love by any means.

Self Acceptance

I want people to accept me for who I am and the question is do I accept myself for who I am. I like to think that I do as I am sure that most people do think they accept themselves. I believe that for the most part I do accept myself and I know that today I certainly accept myself far more than I have ever done before. It is a mark of personal growth to be able to look in the mirror and know that you like the person looking back at you and dare I say love them as well.

I have come to a point in my life when I no longer feel the need to prove myself or justify my actions to anyone. I am me and I am free to live my life, the life I have chosen to live. It has been a long time coming and I have earned that right and I am not going to be apologetic about it in the least. I am having a lot of fun right now working on little projects around the house and getting things fixed that have been waiting far too long. One step at a time and it will all get finished and of course there is the danger that I will tear it all out and start all over because I have changed my mind.

This is the benefit of having left all the abusive relationships behind me and while at this moment I am not involved with anyone I am enjoying my relationship with myself. It is something that I have never done before. I always felt that I needed to be with someone or I was unloved and unwanted, destined to be alone the rest of my life. That lead me to many unhealthy and abusive relationships that not only hurt me, it hurt the people that I cared about most, my kids.

Today I can find myself getting to know myself and accept who I am and I am enjoying this time of my life. I have already spent the last 20 yrs justifying and defending my actions and I am sure there will be people that will still question the way I raised my kids and that is their problem and not mine. The things I do now are things that I find relaxing, recharging and bring me happiness and I feel good about what I am doing. I have plenty of free time and I am getting things done that I have been meaning to get done. I still need to work on balancing my projects and free time so they flow better and everything gets covered. It is getting there and I have time to work on it. Have a great day all and God Bless.