Step Six

Where entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Defects of character was the only thing I saw when I first read this. It supposed ans re-enforced the idea that had been beat into my head over the years, that I was defective. Was I really defective and if so, why?

The things that I had identified in my 4th step were the things that defined who I was. Now they were being refered to as defects of character. It tiik me a while to come to grips with what this meant. I had allowed things to define who I was and shape how others saw me. These traits that I had for so long were in fact walls that I had built up for so long to keep people out and never let anyone get close.

You see if you allow someone to get close, they can hurt you and I had been hurt far too much in life already. The stuff that was in my 4th was everything I did not want to be any more and it was not what I wanted others to see when they saw me either. It was that realization that helped me come to grips with the idea of what character defects meant. It did not mean that I was a bad person only that my ideas about who I was and am have changed.

I had come out of my crysalis and was ready to spread my wings and fly. That gave me the willingness to turn my character defects over to God and to allow him to remove them from me. Some were gone right away and others took much longer. It is in coming to the realization that the old me serves no purpose any longer, that I am free to change. It is in understanding that the past does not define the future that I am free to live. It is know that God protects me from harm that allows me to love again.

My life is defined by what I do in the present and not by what I did in the past. I will always carry with me the lessons I learned from those character defects. It does not mean that I will carry forward those character defects. We all have the ability to change as a good and dear friend continues to remind me. Yet it can only happen if there is a desire to change. That desire comes from know you have character defects and you are willing to give them up. If you do not believe you have character defects, you have nothing to give up and no reason to change.

It took years to be able to trust God enough to become entirely ready. For the longest time I would only give him parts of my life but never the whole thing. Now, I can give him the whole thing and I am still entirely ready to have him remove all my character defects. HAve a great day all and God Bless, I love you all.