Relaxation

A simple word, 'relaxation', Yet, it has been one that I have seen very little of with the schedule I have been keeping. Last night was te first time in a very long time that I was able to just relax. I did help my son move some of his stuff from his old place to his new place and than I was able to just relax.

It was a great feeling and the best part of all was I did not feel guilty for doing it either lol. It is amazing how refreshed you can feel after a little bit of rest. The job market around here has sucked in the IT sector and it had been hard finding anything that was not contract work. I finally found something and I have been there for a while now. Since than I ahve been working two jobs, seven days a week to get myself back on solid footing financially.

I am finally getting to the point that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I am looking at dropping the second job around the end of this month. Then for the first time in a very long time I will ahve a couple days off each week. It is going to feel strange and I will have to make some adjustments again. I will have time to relax and enjoy life and not just work. It has been a lot of hard work to get to this point and I had to prove a lot of stuff to myself.

I built this home and I ahve been in it for almost seven years now and that has been hard for me. Until now the longest time I have ever lived in one place was 4-5 yrs, so there was a huge mental barrier that I had to cross there. Then there is the fact that I am living by myself for the first time in 20 yrs, actually the first time in my life. That was another mental barrier that needed to be crossed, that I could live by myself without the world caving in on me.

Then over the last decade I had supported anywhere from 3 to 8 people on whatever I was making at the time. Yet, I had been accused of not being capable of doing that and that brings me to the third mental barrier that needed to be crossed. In working hard and applying the financial plan that I have always believed in I have regain solid financial footing and I have done without help from anyone.

Then there is the final mental barrier that needed to be crossed and that was the one of fearing being alone. This is not the same as living by yourself becuase you can be in a room full of people and still be alone. In this I am refering to relationships and the idea that some had suggested that I could not function without being in a relationship. I am not in a relationship and I ahve not been in one for some time now. In fact my last girlfriend and I broke up in December of last year.

I am not in any big hurry to get into a relationship any time soon and it is not something that I need to survive. Last night when I was just able to relax for the first time in a very very long time, there was a feeling of arrival. Whatever point that was imagined was arrived at at that moment and it felt great. Life is great and I can finally feel comfortable in my own skin knowing that I have crossed all the mental barriers that needed to be crossed. Now life begins in ernest and lets see what God has in store for me, yippy.

Have a great day all and God Bless, love to you all.