I have not been blogging for a period of time as I have been recovering from an abusive relationship. That is right I did get into another one and I feel ashamed of myself for doing so. It did not start out that way, she was loving and kind and affectionate. It was not until after she go it what she wanted from me that she turned verbally and emotionally abusive. It was as if someone had turned a switch and everything changed all at once.

It has been over now for a couple of months and I have been dealing with the depression that came from being in it, allowing myself to get into another one and the thought that I may never have another relationship. Not because I feel I am not worth loving but the fear that the next woman that enters my life will be just another abuser. It is the sense of becoming jaded and a building lack of trust in women in general.

The challenge has been to do things differently than I had done them in the past. I have worked very hard not to isolate myself and to continue to be around people. Most do not know what I have been through and that is ok, the ones that do are glad to see that I am getting better. I do not know what the future holds for me and I doubt seriously that anyone other than God does. What I do know is that I have today and that is all I have and I intend to be happy and enjoy the life that God has given me.