In my experience when you begin to get stronger and stand up for yourself it will get harder in the abusive relationship. They will try to knock you back down and you will need to be determined that enough is enough. In time they will back off and find someone else to abuse because they simply do not want to put that much effort into it. They want someone that will be easy to control and if they have to work at it they won’t stick around. Your safety should always be your first concern and the actions you take will always be reflective of your situation.
It may not be safe for you to stand up while still under the same roof as the abuser. Once you have been able to get out of the same house as the abuser you really do need to stand your ground. This is not only for you but also for your kids if you have them. They will use guilt and all kinds of threats to get you to give in and come back, resist and it will be better for you in the end. Build a support system of people that have survived and are now thriving in their own life. Avoid those that make hate and anger their passion in life for they are no better than those that did the abuse.
We all want to put what happened behind us and get in with our lives. The reality is that it is always going to be with us and it has changed us forever. What we have experienced can never be undone and we shall have that to carry with us forever. The fear, shame and the guilt will always be there and it is in how we choose to deal with it that will ultimately make the difference in our lives. We need to be able to walk away from the anger with others an ourselves and focus on what makes us good people in the first place.
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