Since I have left my last abusive relationship I have found that I have learned something. Recently I had been involved with someone that has a control streak a mile wide. I was concerned that I was getting into something that was going to become abusive and shut it down. That was a good feeling. I was able to do this by feeling good about myself and seeing the things in my life that were positive. Now they are moving out in part because they were unable to isolate me and knock me down.

Someone that is abusive will isolate you and destroy you self esteem and if you are paying attention you can see it happening. I did and was able to stop it and protect myself. I am still unsure if I want to be in another relationship because I do not want to be on guard all the time. I am tired of looking over my shoulder wondering will she be abusive like the others, only in a different way. Yet I find that I miss the intimacy that we need as humans. I have a great deal of friends and I live a public life so I am never alone, yet there are times when I feel very alone and that is very hard.

To know that people from my past have taken from me my ability to truly trust another person in an intimate relationship.