Emotional Abuse in relationships

In the everyday world of domestic violence the form that goes the least noticed is that of emotional abuse. This is simply because the wounds go to the core of ones being and are never visible to the outside world. The only ones that can tell that emotional abuse has taken place are those that are the closest to the victim. They are also among the first to separated from the victim by the abuser as a means of gaining control.

This has happened to me on several occasions in my past relationships ad it is the hardest thing to deal with. You have no idea that it is happening until you suddenly find yourself in way over your head and unsure as to which way to turn. There is also the profound lack of self-esteem that comes with it and the idea develops that you deserve to be treated the way you are. No one ever deserves to be treated like dirt or put down till you have nothing left of yourself.

You owe it to yourself to stand your ground and do the things that allow you to feel good about yourself. This is because the abuser will separate you from anything that allows you to feel good about you so that your whole sense of self worth comes from them. The thing is that the stronger you are and the more you do to keep your self-esteem strong, the harder the abuser has to work to get control and keep it. Eventually they will give up and leave your life, it is the only way I can think of to get out of this type of abusive relationship.

They will in the end find someone else to victimize that they feel will be easier pickings. Remember those animal shows and we watch the predator go for the weakest and the sickest one in the heard. The abuser is no different from any other predator, they look for the weakest and wear them down till they can move in for the kill. What is left is someone that has no self-esteem and cannot function without the abuser in their life, or at least that is what they have been conditioned to believe. The remarkable part comes after the abuser is gone and you begin to realize that life does go on. You can actually begin rebuilding your life and becoming the person you were meant to be.

I want to believe that the stronger I am and the stronger my self-esteem is the less likely it will be that I will fall into another abusive relationship. The problem is that I am afraid that it will not make a difference in the end and that I will still end up in another abusive relationship, only they will do it differently.