Surviving the Holidays

It seems that so much of our time is just spent trying to survive the holidays instead of actually enjoying them. When we were with the abuser everything had to be just so or we knew that there would be a backlash that we would have to deal with. We tiptoed around them trying desperately not to disturb the waters, terrified of the results if we did.

Things are different now and I no longer have to tiptoe around anyone. I do what I can and let go of the rest. My goal now is to have a good day with the kids and relax and enjoy the holiday. We held onto the traditions that we really liked and let go of the other ones. The funny thing is that no one even noticed that some of the traditions were let go.

It took a couple of holidays to go by before we had things the way we wanted them to be. The key being the way we wanted them to be because there was no one telling us how it had to be. We decided for ourselves what we wanted and did not want and it did not matter what anyone else was doing. Others were doing what they wanted and that was fine for them and it did not mean that we had to do it to.

In the end we enjoyed ourselves and we were able to relax and enjoy each other’s company. Minor things come up as will happen when you have a house full of people. Nothing like the stuff we had to deal with when the abuser joined the holiday. There was peace on earth this holiday and that is good for me.