For the longest time this was something that I could not say let alone mean. I can remember for so long wondering what I had done to deserve this type of life. Many times I would find a spot in an alley to hide and just cry my eye out and beg God to end it all. I did not know that I was capable of surviving all that I would face growing up.
I found myself going to drugs and alcohol to help make the pain go away. After many years of using I came to the conclusion that it would not go away. I could not drink it away and I could not smoke it away, it was there and always would be there. It was a part of who I was and I would have to come to terms with that.
It took some twenty years of fighting with myself and with God to get to a point were I could find happiness. I am hoping that with the information that I am writing here it will not take you twenty years to find happiness. After finding it it took me another 4 years to be able to embrace it and know that I had finally left all the abuse behind.
All I ever wanted in life was to feel loved and I was willing to do anything just so people would love me. That even allowed me to devalue myself and allowed me to let people to abuse me because of they did than they loved me. It ha taken a long time to get past that idea and now that I have life is good and getting better all the time. It will for you as well.
Technorati Profile
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment