Perceptions

Perceptions are something that is very interesting and often times very bizarre. People think they know what abuse looks like and what abuse is. They try to pigeon whole the abusers and the abused and that to be honest is for their own comfort. That is because if they can put us into a neat little box it will be easier for them to deal with us.

They believe that men do not get abused at all or if we do that either we deserved it or that it is not that bad. Abuse is abuse and it does not matter whether the victim is a male or female young or old. Abuse is simply wrong and should not be acceptable for any reason by anyone, period. We try desperately every day to get a grip on abuse and the role that it played in out lives and most days it is very hard to do.

What is certain is that it was someone else controlling us by his or her actions and words that caused fear within us at the deepest levels. It does not matter what size the abuser or the abused are what does matter is the degree of fear that we come to live with. The fear that imprisons us within our homes and our minds. The fear that keeps us from having a life that was meant for us, one of happiness and joy.

Fear is the abusers weapon of choice to control us at every turn. We do not call someone out of fear. We do not wear something out of fear. We do not say something out of fear. Just because the abuser is gone does not mean that that fear will also be gone. That fear will continue to have a tight grip on us for as long as we allow it to. And while it may sound easy to say, ‘let go of the fear’ it will be the hardest thing you will every do. When you do you begin to see things that you never saw before, within yourself and in others.

So long as we hold onto the fear that has trapped us for so long the stereotypes about abuse will be true and we are justified in our beliefs. When the fear begins to leave us we can see with new eyes things we could never see before. We can see the abuse in others no matter what the gender of the abuser. We can begin to see the good and the strength that exists within ourselves. When we can finally begin to see the good that exits within us we begin the long road to healing and the long walk away from the fog of abuse that has clouded our vision for far too long.im-breaking-free.blogspot.com