Dealing

There is two things that are for sure in all this abuse recovery stuff. You will recover and you will be dealing with it for the rest of your life. It is one thing to leave the abusive relationship and the funny thing is that it will always find ways to sneak back into your life, especially if there are children involved.

The abuser will find ways to manipulate you or the kids in an attempt to make your life a living hell. You can find all kinds of creative ways to hide from them but the best thing to do is to deal with it. That will mean getting professional psychological help for yourself and your children if you have children. The times when the abuser starts up their games is when things are going well for you or your kids.

The abuser needs to believe that you cannot make it or amount to anything without them. The fact that you are making it and you are doing well will just make them mad. They will try to take the focus off of what you or your children are doing and bring it onto them. That way it become a conversation about them and the problems they are having and not about the promotion, or the A+ your kid got on a test.

This is the day to day type of things that the survivor of an abusive relationship has to deal with. The important thing is that you deal with it. The fact that you’re not in the same house any longer does make this much easier. You can hang up the phone. You can say something like, “there someone at the door I’ll talk to you later’. Then let go of what they did just then and simply go about the rest of the day. Celebrate the good news with people in your life that do care and support you and what you are doing.

The key comes from letting go of the anger and the pain that resurfaces every time they play the old game. If you do not have kids together than you have no reason to have contact with the abuser and should not be calling them in the first place. If you have kids than you will be dealing with the abuser the rest of your life. How you choose to do that is up to you. My recommendation is to let go of what they do and go about your life. Both you and your children will benefit from that and the abuser will no longer ne the center of your life.im-breaking-free.blogspot.com